The Doubters

Sometimes, when you want to make a change, you will run into opposition from those in your world. Friends, family, coworkers, etc. will sometimes "poo poo" your desire to do something seemingly radical for yourself. I have decided to cut out certain foods from my diet for one year to see how it goes. I'm really looking forward to coming out the other end feeling and looking great. But there are doubters. People either seem to think I won't be able to do it for an entire year or they don't understand why I'm doing it and are down on the idea.

I'm on day 12. I ate at a hamburger place with Dr. John today. Hamburgers, good ones, not fast food crap, with all the fixins like mayonnaise, mustard, pickles, onions, and a steaming pile of fries are one of my favorite meals. A milkshake is just a bonus, not a necessary part of the meal but who doesn't like a milkshake? I did ok. I did feel a pang of sadness that I couldn't join him in his enjoyment of the fries, the milkshake, the bun, the condiments. Just a burger patty, lettuce, onions and water for me please. But the burger wrapped in lettuce with an onion on top tasted good. I tried to concentrate on enjoying his friendship rather than on what I couldn't eat at that moment in time.

I need to focus on what I have, not what I don't have. This is apparent in other aspects of my life but this diet is bringing it to the forefront of my awareness. I also need to keep in mind why I'm doing this. What my goals are. And to remember that reaching my goals is not an instant gratification situation. It took me years of eating crappy to put on the weight and develop the depression, the lethargy, the warning signs of diabetes. It's going to take some time to rectify the situation.

Since posting my first blog entry (which originated on my facebook page) I received a very encouraging message from a friend. I knew this guy in college sort of. He was the friend of a friend so we hung out occasionally, usually completely unplanned. And what I knew of him was that he wrote poetry, wore flannel (Kurt Cobain style), he smoked and drank. He was kind of dark. He is the last person I would have expected to respond to my declaration of my radical diet change. But that just proves to me that impressions are just that, impressions, and what's underneath is usually a lot deeper and more real.

He gave me permission to quote some of his letter here. His story is amazing!

• hey!
  I know it's been ages since we've talked. You probably know very little about me since my Laramie days.
  
  I was diagnosed with Sarcoidosis in 2009. I had a splenectomy, I was put on high dosages of Prednisone, Methotrexate, and because of those, lots of other drugs to counteract the side effects from them.
  
  The Prednisone caused me insatiable hunger cravings. I went from 190 to 260lbs in 3 months. Prednisone increases your chances of developing diabetes, it gives you hypertension, edema, and to top it all off, it gave me this uncontrollable rage. Then they took me off the Prednisone. And they did it very quickly. It sent me into a huge depression, and proved to be the last straw for my marriage.
  
  They wanted me to continue taking methotrexate, which is a horrible drug. It would have killed my liver and required a transplant within a few years.
  
  But I just stopped taking all of it.
  
  And I did an elimination diet. I did 1 month of nothing but lettuce and radishes and water.
  
  It was hell.
  
  BUT! I completely normalized. My sarcoids went away, I started losing weight, (I started working out too). I stopped drinking soda. At the end of the month I was going to reintroduce the main food groups. This was to determine what food allergies I had. When I was a kid I knew I was allergic to wheat, but I thought I grew out of it as an adult.
  
  It turns out that I was still horribly allergic to it, but my body was internalizing the reaction. Within hours of introducing wheat back into my diet, I broke out in hives and got pretty ill.
  
  So I gave myself a week on the lettuce and radishes, and then tried corn. I was fine. Milk, good. Rice, great.
  
  Now, on top of all of these things, I had tremendous back pain as well. Mine was in my upper back. I had seen chiropractors as well, and nothing offered relief. After the diet, the back pain was gone.
  
  So...I've cut out wheat from my diet. ALMOST completely. It's so hard to NOT have it sometimes, since it's in everything. I don't kill myself. I enjoy my foods. I've discovered NEW foods that are amazingly delicious, and leave you feeling great. It's amazing how much I used to crave a burger or something shitty. Now I crave spinach and beans and rice and sushi. I crave good foods, and when I eat them, I feel good.
  
  I am down to 175lbs. I still have a lot of fat around my midsection from the Prednisone side effects. But I work out everyday. And I started small.
  
  Start small. Don't do anything drastic. It wont work. It's like a new hobby. You have to learn it. You have to practice at it...
  
  I just went through a really hard time, but I came out with a better view on life.
  
  I turned 36 in March. Days before my birthday I went surfing for the first time in my life. I fit into a very snug wet suit and wasn't self conscious and I could actually...well, aside from sucking at surfing, keep up with the 20 year olds...
  
  If you need support. Let me know. I know how vital it is. I know we don't really know each other, but that doesn't matter.
  
  If I can be of any encouragement, I would be honored to offer my help.
  
  -Kelly

I was honored that he shared his story with me and baffled, honestly. It was not at all what I expected! Completely opposite of the guy I remember from Laramie! That's so awesome! I was sorry to hear he had to go through such hard times to come to the decision to clean up his diet. I am thankfully not going through a life or death situation. I'm just seeing so many people in my world, my family, who's health is just going to hell because of their lifestyle choices. My father had lung cancer, my aunt just got diagnosed with breast cancer and my cousin, only a few years old than I, may have just suffered a heart attack. We are waiting to hear.

One of the BIG reasons I'm doing this is to not be a victim of my body anymore. My thinking has always been that it's someone or something else's fault that I'm like this–that I eat like this, that I look like this. It is MY responsibility what I put into my body. No one forced me to eat all of those cheeseburgers, fries, pizzas, sodas, glutenous treats. It was all me. And I'm responsible.

I'm responsible.

I want to be healthy when my kids have kids, I want to hike up Long's Peak and make it to the top, I want to travel to all of the continents, I want to look good in a pair of shorts, or my arch-nemesis, the bathing suit. I want the self-confidence that comes not just from looking great (because that's only a side benefit of my goal) but from feeling great, from accomplishing an amazing goal. I can't do any of those things if I'm sick or too overweight to walk.

So, to the doubters I say "I don't care what you think. I'm going to do it, I'm going to make it!" And I am.